Hardcase Survival Pinto Bean Sludge

Victoria McCabe19 May 1973Dear Victoria,Herewith my bit for your cookbook. This recipe is not original but a variation on an old (perhaps ancient) Southwestern dish. It has also been a favorite of mine and was for many years the staple, the sole staple, of my personal nutritional program. (I am six feet three and weigh 190 pounds, sober.)I call it Hardcase Survival Pinto Bean Sludge.1. Take one fifty-pound sack Colorado pinto beans. Remove stones, cockleburs, horseshit, ants, lizards, etc. Wash in clear cold crick water. Soak for twenty-four hours in iron kettle or earthenware cooking pot. (DO NOT USE TEFLON, ALUMINUM OR PYREX CONTAINER. THIS WARNING CANNOT BE OVERSTRESSED.)2. Place kettle or pot with entire fifty lbs. of pinto beans on low fire and simmer for twenty-four hours. (DO NOT POUR OFF WATER IN WHICH BEANS HAVE BEEN IMMERSED. THIS IS IMPORTANT.) Fire must be of juniper, pinyon pine, mesquite or ironwood; other fuels tend to modify the subtle flavor and delicate aroma of Pinto Bean Sludge.3. DO NOT BOIL.4. STIR VIGOROUSLY FROM TIME TO TIME WITH WOODEN SPOON OR IRON LADLE. (Do not disregard these instructions.)5. After simmering on low fire for twenty-four hours, add one gallon green chile peppers. Stir vigorously. Add one quart natural (non-iodized) pure sea salt. Add black pepper. Stir some more and throw in additional flavoring materials, as desired, such as old bacon rinds, corncobs, salt pork, hog jowls, kidney stones, ham hocks, sowbelly, saddle blankets, jungle boots, worn-out tennis shoes, cinch straps, whatnot, use your own judgment. Simmer an additional twenty-four hours.6. Now ladle as many servings as desired from pot but do not remove pot from fire. Allow to simmer continuously for hours, days or weeks if necessary, until all contents have been thoroughly consumed. Continue to stir vigorously, whenever in vicinity or whenever you think of it.7. Serve Pinto Bean Sludge on large flat stones or on any convenient fairly level surface. Garnish liberally with parsley flakes. Slather generously with raw ketchup. Sprinkle with endive, anchovy crumbs and boiled cruets and eat hearty.8. One potful Pinto Bean Sludge, as above specified, will feed one poet for two full weeks at a cost of about $11.45 at current prices. Annual costs less than $300.9. The philosopher Pythagoras found flatulence incompatible with meditation and therefore urged his followers not to eat beans. I have found, however, that custom and thorough cooking will alleviate this problem.Yrs, Edward Abbey—Tucson ***

Lodge Dutch Ovens

Joseph Lodge began making iron cookware in the Appalachian Mountains of South Pittsburg, Tennesse at the end of the 19th century. If you've ever used cast iron while camping (next to your car as it's heavy as can be) then you know that a) it cooks your chili so that the aroma generates rapture akin to a lover's kiss and b) it'll last you a lifetime. It's also surpisingly cheap. Kleenex is to tissue as Chapstick is to lip balm as Lodge is to cast iron.Dick Proenneke went on and on about sourdough biscuits and jam in the morning, so if you've got yourself a Lodge, and I'm sure you do, then make sure you try making them at least once. Nothing, and I mean nothing, tastes better after waking up from your tent than sourdough biscuits. And of course, Lodge has a recipe right on their website for the beauties. If you don't have the time or the motivation to make your own sourdough starter, try using this. The picture above is from Campground Cooking, a book that I've been admiring at home for the past couple of months after seeing some scans on Old Chum's Flickr.

Cattails

It's spring y'all, and that means lots of edible things along the trail. One of the more common (aka easy to identify) is the cattail. Peal back a few layers of the shoot, cut em up and you'll have yourself a damn fine addition to your pasta/instant mashed potatoes/rice/etc etc. Watch an "expert" show you how here.

All That The Rain Promises and More

All That the Rain Promises, and More is a wild mushroom identification and field guide by American mycologist David Arora. Published in 1991, the book includes detailed descriptions of more than 200 edible and poisonous mushroom species, as well as recipes, stories, and information on uses of various species such as for dying hair and clothing or playing games. In the preface, Arora writes:

"In leafing through these pages, you may wonder what all the 'fanciful,' 'foolish,' or (shudder) 'extraneous' material is doing in a factual guide. After all, it is the practical, hands-on, how-to-identify information that makes this book usefull and gives it substance. But I ask: is it any stranger or less desirable to sprinkle the facts with flakes of fancy than it is to liven up solemn, substantial fare like potatoes with something fancier and more flavorful, like wild mushrooms?"

Read it here and then buy it here.

Granola

If you spend any time in the cereal aisle of the supermarket, I'm sure you've noticed that the granola section has expanded exponentially in the past couple of years. And as the options have soared, so have the prices. Those Bear Naked bags are a joke. Living up to a stereotype is always a good idea, so if you've got a few minutes to make your own, you should. It's easy and cheap, and as you all know, packs real well in the top of whatever you got strapped to your back.The beauty of making your own granola (holy shit, what a sentence starter!) is that you can put whatever the hell you want into it, just like Good Old Raisins and Peanuts. I'm a little boring, so I keep the recipe pretty simple and void of too much sweet. I don't know real measurements, which means it comes out a little different each time, but below is some sort of framework (as you can see above, shredded unsweetened coconut is pretty standard in granola, and if I have it around, I'll use it. If not, it doesn't really matter.) that you can use if you don't do this already. I'm sure a lot of you have way better recipes and tricks, so let a brother know what you got.A few cups of rolled oats (Not the instant kind)Agave NectarPepitasFlax SeedsSliced Almonds (in the baking aisle)CinnamonVanilla ExtractRaisins/CraisinsYou should only use enough oats to make a thin layer on a baking sheet, so put that amount in a bowl and pour on enough agave nectar to get the oats wet. Maple Syrup and/or honey works too. Throw in as many pepitas and flax seeds as your heart desires. Almonds too. Shake some cinnamon in there (can never have too much) and a teaspoon or two of vanilla. Mix it up, throw it on a cookie sheet and put it in the oven at 350 until it gets a little crispy. Take it out, let it cool, throw in some raisins, and put it in that pretty little Ball jar you never get to use.

Moonpie

When I was a young one at camp in Bemidji (if you read this rag, I talk about camp way too much, so apologies), I spent a lot of activity-time riding bikes around camp property and the open Minnesota highways. The bike instructor was a guy named Moonpie (all the counselors had nicknames) who had long dark hair and, around the campfire, sang "Ramble On Rose" like a little mouse. I was one of the few guys in my cabin who thought Moonpie oozed cool, so I spent a lot of time up at the bike shed with him, playing guitar while he blew up tires and did bike repair. I'm sure he thought I was wildly annoying, but I didn't think about that at the time, so I continued on with my shiny black Washburn, hoping that if I sang "Run Around" enough times, my voice would drop.Since then, I can't help but equate Moonpies with the outdoors and, well, being cool, bikes and Jerry Garcia. I never did ask him where he got his name, but I can only imagine him showing up at the steps of the mess hall with a great big Moonpie in his mouth, asking for a job. And knowing the lame stories and lack of effort behind some other counselor's names, that probably isn't too far off.Anyway, I was cleaning out my backpack the other night to get ready for the upcoming months and found a chocolate Moonpie stuffed in the bottom of my bag. I end up buying them a lot on my way to the trail, but can't remember ever actually liking them very much, so it was no surprise to find it. It was months old, from the last trip I took to God knows where, but still looked edible, so what's a boy to do but eat a chocolate Moonpie.Great name. Not so great dessert.

Euell Gibbons + Grape Nuts

Grape Nuts have long been a backpacking breakfast staple, and aside from homemade granola, there's no better cereal to carry on the trail. According to the internets, it seems as though a lot of people passionately hate the little nutty nuggets, so argue with me if you want. There are few better tastes. (And I'm talking cold cereal here, so oatmeal, grits etc. don't count.)  Check out this wonderfully cheesy ad from an 80s BACKPACKER and then watch Euell Gibbons, authority on wild and edible plants and pictured above, tell you that it tastes like "wild hickory nuts." I couldn't find his more famous "Ever eaten a pine tree?" spot for the cereal, so if anyone has it, send it along.